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About Varied / Hobbyist JacquelineFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Ravenloft887
Jacqueline
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Ok, so here goes. A little about me. I am 5'3"ish with Hazel/Green eyes and Blondish/Brown hair. I like art, photography the most and writing. I am not good at either, I will admit it. I am going to be a Psychology Professor someday and when your arse is in my class it will be a fun ride. Other then that? Not much to say, 'cept I am a house cat furry and if you have an issue with that, shove it. I am actually nice when you get to know me. There you go, happy?

Current Residence: Over the bridge next to the hill
Favourite genre of music: Classic rock
Favourite photographer: Don't know of any new ones, but I think I am not half bad.
Favourite style of art: Photography, or painting. I also like to draw a little.
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Ipod/Iphone
Shell of choice: I have no clue what they mean, so seashell?
Wallpaper of choice: Something funny or that makes you think, nature scenes too.
Skin of choice: None, at least until I upgrade.
Favourite cartoon character: Powerpuff Girls and a few others.
Personal Quote: Lest the dead who is forsaken, be not happy now....
Interests
Alright, let's see if I can still kinda? write. I am crap, and so expect crap.

Sometimes when I am feeling like shit I try and pick myself up by doing childish things, little things, like having an ice cream cone or snuggling with my stuffed animals. And most of the time? That works. But lately it's been getting harder and harder to feel good; about myself, what i'm doing, who i'm talking to, or even my life in general. Depression? Perhaps. But I think it is more than that...I feel...useless. Like I am not doing enough, good enough, or even strong enough.

A million questions run through my head all the time, a million thoughts, a million emotions. And yet I sit here, quiet and attempting to not spend every waking moment panicking or bawling my eyes out. I feel lonely, even when I am not alone. I make other feel lonely and cannot for the life of me fix it.

Perhaps I will not be good enough, I won't know till I get there. I already feel like a failure. At school the books are so boring I fall asleep and so I do not read them, but if I don't then I will suck and not help anyone and feel worse and maybe even be the reason someone gets worse.

That's my worst fear....that someone will kill themselves and deep down...I will know I had the power to stop it. Being a psychologist seems to be terrifying, and honestly I do not know if I can do it. I think I can, I hope I can. But can I? I will not know till I get there.

I am scared. All the time. I tend to write things down and let the feeling flow rather than being able to talk about, because it is easier to control crying that way. My home feels empty, surrounded by people; and I feel as if I am the reason it is so quiet. Maybe if I did more, talked more, something? Then perhaps it would not feel so dead in here all the time.

Now I am just talking about whatever, and that makes me feel foolish. Like who the hell wants to hear the inner dialogue of a crazy chick that they don't even know? I would, but again I am going to make my life's work doing just that. The thing I hear most from people in my classes is that they want to be someone, as if they currently are not "anyone" and they need validation to be "somebody". I don't like this. I mean there is no need to be famous or to discover something just to be "somebody", we're all somebody right now. I am me, and al lI want to do is help people. But the problem is, first I need to be able to help myself. 
  • Listening to: Random Music...........
  • Watching: Nothing..........
  • Drinking: Cherry Pepsi........

Comments


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:iconartofsundancewolf:
ArtOfSundanceWolf Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Professional General Artist
Hey Simone, it's me, I made a new account, am starting fresh!
Reply
:iconcassidypeterson:
CassidyPeterson Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2011  Hobbyist
:dummy:
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:iconjackolantern555:
Jackolantern555 Featured By Owner May 23, 2011  Student Artist
hey my new face book here hehe [link]
Reply
:iconarch-angel-azrael:
arch-angel-azrael Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankies for the watch! XD
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:iconbrewsterart:
brewsterart Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2009  Hobbyist Artist
Nice gallery of work.
Reply
:iconravenloft887:
Ravenloft887 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate today. It feels like time is standing still and theres no one to talk to and nothing good is on. It makes me really homesick on days like this.
Reply
:iconkamikazekyle:
KamikazeKyle Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2007
Oogity Boogity
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:iconravenloft887:
Ravenloft887 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Yesh this is me!
Reply
:iconblackdruidwolf:
BlackDruidWolf Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Simone that you?
Reply
:icontickledpinky:
tickledpinky Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2007
Thank you for the watch:heart:
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